Family Feuds

and how great it feels to cause one!

Up till this point, I have only had adults read and review my Work In Progress. Unfamiliar(to me) adults at that. (I can't get hubby to read a book targeted at 12ish year old girls.) While these have been really great and helpful, I wanted a child to read some of my work. After all, children are who I am targeting and they know better than anyone else whether or not they will like a book.

I twiddled my thumbs for a while and HEY! Don't I have a 12ish year old cousin? Hmm.. I do. I ummed and ahhed about it for a bit, but eventually gave in to my curiosity and sent a first chapter to my aunt, asking if her daughter wouldn't mind reading it.

Now, I am told my 12ish year old cousin only reads books if she's really really REALLY into them so while she was busy with homework(before reading, can you imagine?) her 19ish year old sister stole the first chapter. The older sister likes reading. This I am very much aware of.

The older sister thought it was quite good. Suddenly, the youngest rushed her homework to read it. She trudged back into the lounge and pleaded, "Where is the second chapter."

My aunt then, hopelessly curious, decided to read it herself. And then I got the phone call. They're all hooked and they all want more, but they'll try to be patient. In the background, the 12 year old says, "I'm not going to be patient!"

As I am still tweaking, I only sent them the second chapter two days later. I got to hear all about the scramble to read it. My aunt won by using the "oldest goes first" trick.

Now I know you're not supposed to take family reviews to heart due to bias, but gosh, isn't it lovely when you are told your words start family feuds?

Conundrums

conundrums conundrums!

Quickly, say it three times fast! We've all been there, I've been there. I AM there. A conundrum in the writing.

Nowhere Place, the story of two cousins who don't get along so well. In an act of violent outbursts and crazyness, mixed with a magic necklace, Cousin Arrow winks Cousin Cathy out of existence. No one remembers Cathy. Why, Gran tells Arrow that Cathy was nothing more than an imaginary friend she had as a child.

Now, my initial draft had Arrow convinced Cathy was real, no matter what anyone else said. She goes into Nowhere Place - where things winked out of existence go. You know, odd socks, missing cousins. The whole thing was written from Arrow's POV.

In thought process two, I decided this wasn't right. I needed to see what was happening to Cathy. I want to know of her struggles in Nowhere Place as well as Arrow's attempts to find her.

Okay, so Arrow follows Cathy, but I'm POV jumping between the two. Cool.. oh wait.

What if Arrow believes it when Gran tells her Cathy was just imaginary? What if she stays in the real world, trying to adjust what she thinks she knows about Cathy to what everyone else knows. She was never real. Arrow gets close to convincing herself too... but then, she finds something. Like a make-up case under her bed. Arrow doesn't do make-up. It can belong to no one but Cathy... Cathy is real and OH DEAR GAWD!

Option three is going to read better isn't it? Drat. The creative process is an evil bitch. :P

Overwriting

and how its NOT my problem.

I hear it time and time again, "Too wordy" "The reader gets it. Its a big door. They got it with the first simile you used." etc. etc. etc.

I don't do that. No, not me. Turns out I UNDERWRITE - and not in the insurance kind of way. See, I keep getting crits that go something like this.

"I'd like to know more about the surroundings." "I would like to see more description on how the characters look" "I want to see John react to that situation"

Perhaps I spent too much time reading advice about this overwriting thing and my subconscious is making gosh darn sure I don't make THAT mistake. It's just a little terrible that I've gone and replaced that error with a new one.

But I do understand now, why my first drafts are small in comparison to most. Nowhere Place made it to 48,000. Free radicals got to 50,000 (thanks NaNoWriMo). Both of them having finished telling the story.

Here's the funny thing about all this. While most people have to subtract during the editing process, I'm finding myself adding.

ps. I just made some dried apple rings... mmmmm... much better than those sulphur dioxide drenched shop bought goodies.

An update on the Detox

and why I suspect my doctor knows what he's talking about.

Day one was fine, Day two I felt like I was about to die. Day three, I seemed to be in a state of Zombie strangeness. The sinus attack and the headache were gone, but so was my mind. I was awake, but I wasn't "here".

On day four I had the sniffles. I sneezed and sneezed. My neck was itching from an eczema reaction. I had to resist the urge to scratch. Do you know how disgusting eczema looks like if you accidentally scratch? Do you know how hard it is to recover once you get to that point? I used to tear myself open in my sleep. Thank gawd I got passed that!(a mixture of wearing gloves while I slept and finding a loving hubby who would lightly slap my hands at the first sign of renegade fingers) I assure you, it isn't easy.

And now we're onto day five. I woke up with the sniffly sneezes again, but at least the eczema tingle has disappeared completely. All that remained was the sniffles. Sometime after lunchtime, those too ran away. I can breathe through my nasal passages! Fancy that. :P

Might I add, my constant companion, Post Nasal Drip is a ghost of what he once was. I'm barely noticing the little sucker. I'm not exactly energy filled and bouncing off the walls, but I am better. My symptoms are scurrying into the woodwork. I do hope they make the wise decision not to return.

I am also slightly more positive about this (potentially permanent) dietary change. My doctor has told me, after reviewing a two week food diary I did up for him, that my most likely intolerances are wheat and dairy.

WHEAT AND DAIRY? How in the goodness do you cook without WHEAT AND DAIRY?

It seems a lot of people have had to ask themselves that question long before I did. There are heaps of blogs on going gluten(protein in wheat) free etc. etc. etc. Yes, it's a major restructuring of what you thought you knew about food (and I do so like cooking good food), but it can be done. It's not a death sentence.

Tomorrow, I get to phone Doc. We'll chat a bit about how I'm feeling and then (hopefully) I'll be given the green light to eat one of my restricted foods and jot down the symptoms(if any).

I'm thinking I'll start with a nice boiled egg. I don't eat egg too often and the doctor did say it should be something I'm NOT craving. (Apparently cravings are a good sign that its an intolerable food! and I want cookies! :( )Breakfast has been jumping between fruit and potato chips fried in 100% sunflower oil(doctor's suggestion) and I would rather appreciate some more variety there!

I'm going to go dream lovely dreams of boiled eggs tonight... Boiled eggs... mmmm

Detoxing

Sucks ASS!!

I believe I've mentioned before that I am one of those sad, allergy prone cases. I have asthma, mildly. Sinus and Hayfever along with their buddy, Post Nasal Drip, are almost constant companions. While under control, my skin is just a drop of fragrant body lotion away from an eczema out break.

I learned to live with it, after all, there's nothing the doctors can do. A few prescription creams and antihistamines is all they've ever given. That is, until most recently.

I found myself a doctor who is convinced that my allergy problems are directly related to food sensitivities. Remove the offending foods and, buh-bye allergies! Of course, one has to find out just who these offending foods are... and that's where detoxing comes in.

Every known food sensitivity has been removed from my diet. No milk, no grains, no alcohol! GASP! The only carbohydrate still left is the potato. Eat in moderation my food list says. I'm not even allowed to eat chicken!

Yesterday was day one. Yesterday I felt fine, couldn't be better... really. This morning I could barely roll out of bed. Mid morning, the sniffles set in. Midday, the headache came and then full blown sinus set in. This sucks ASS!

After 5 days, I am told 80% of people feel much better, the other 20% feel worse. Dear God let me not be in the 20%. After 5 days, I am also allowed to select one of the foods from my "no-no" list and include it in my diet. Then I get to sit back and record any symptoms I may have.

I have a sudden sympathy for lab rats.

Stereotypes

and what to do with them.

My current WIP revolves around the story of two girls, Cathy and Arrow. The girls are cousins, but Cathy is a white girl and Arrow is of mixed race.

Cathy is a bit on the bossy side. She has a high opinion of her physical beauty and is very into make-up and fashion. Arrow prefers to go skateboarding with her friends and can't stand the thought of mascara, eyeliner and lipstick.

Cathy describes Arrow as "boyish" and not quite as pretty as herself.

Now I didn't think anything of it, but the other day I got a critique from someone residing in the UK. It went something like this:

"Black girls are often described as boyish, as a sort of
racist myth, that black women are more masculine than white women."

Wait... What? I've never heard that stereotype before!

Now, I live in South Africa. I'm a white girl and in the minority. Like MAJORLY. Growing up in a country bursting with dark skinned people seems to have done a good job of making sure that myth never took root here.

Consider, for example, the general body type of your average African woman. Large breasts, big booty, lusciously pouty lips. Women of European descent have to enlist medical intervention to get what these woman have naturally! As far as my experience has taught me, black women are the absolute epitome of femininity and sensuality. White women are far more likely to have the "boyish" shape.

So is this stereotype really a problem? Will I have to tippy toe around my descriptions of Arrow for fear of being branded racist in countries other than my own? Of course, I never called Arrow "not pretty". Cathy said it. ;)

Nowhere Place

and why I keep coming back to it.

Nowhere Place, is in many ways, my first completed novel. Completed, is of course, a rather subjective word. I wrote a first draft. It did indeed have a start, a middle and an end. On the whole, it was an awesome idea(I'm allowed to say so) that was executed most horribly.

After attempting to edit Horrid First Draft, I got all despondent and depressed. Maybe Nowhere Place wasn't the right book. Maybe I wasn't good enough. Gosh, am I cut out for this writing thing? I threw it aside in shame and hid my guilt in NaNoWriMo. November came at just the right time.

During NaNoWriMo, I heard about Critters.org. Curious, like my two adorably naughty kittens, I wanted to give it a shot. The only thing I felt worthy of critique was Nowhere Place. I stuck it into the Critters queue and spent three weeks waiting for it to finally reach the top of the pile.

The critiques flew in. Some where horrid, "This topic is overdone. You suck." No, I don't believe the word "suck" was ever used. People do try to be diplomatic about saying how horrid they think you are.

Nevertheless, I knew that Nowhere Place had many problems and was very open to the advice I received. Far more people used the words, "This has potential" than those who said, "Overdone. Roll over and die." (My wonderful interpretation skills at work once again)

I got excited about Nowhere Place and once the Crit week was over, I started a rewrite of Chapter One and Two. I was feeling far more positive, but still slightly uncomfortable with certain sections. Seeing as how Chapter One was changed almost beyond recognition I submitted it again, along with Chapter two, and into the critter queue it went.

I started on Chapter three. Lets just say now that Horrid Draft One had become useless at this point. I knew there was no hope for it. Chapter three was an entirely new story, but somewhere along the line, despondence set in again.

I don't know where it came from. Perhaps because I knew that Chapter One and Two were not perfect yet. Perhaps it was another dose of an inability to trust that I was "good enough" for this writing thing.

And then Nowhere Place found itself on the top of the Critter list once more. The crits are more positive this time. Much more so. I'm getting more in the line of, "I really like this part here." and I haven't received another, "You suck. Go away."

Of course there is still much, "Perhaps if you did A instead of B or I'd like to see more of C and a little bit less on D."

I'm excited about Nowhere Place once more. I know it has the potential to be an exciting read. I just have to trust that I can do it.

My rusty haired, freckle faced muse has planted the idea. It's all up to me now.